14 Apr Why it’s Room 101-time for Spoon Theory
First up let me just admit straight out, 3 “facts” about myself in my current existence:
- I have a chronic illness / disability
- I have 2 small kiddos
- I am a raging insomniac (without the rage)
Spoon Theory, if you haven’t heard of it before, asserts that anyone with conditions such as those above, automatically has a “spoon shortage”. In other words, you AIN’T got the same hours in a day as Beyoncé or Batman: you are “compromised”. Your time and energy are not equivalent to someone WITHOUT kiddos, chronic illness or other major life-impinging factors.
Now, when I first read about Spoon Theory, I was nodding along and crying: YES! At last someone understood what I’d been struggling with for so long! At last someone had articulated so finely and metaphorically what it actually TAKES to be a mother, never mind one who struggles daily with ill-health.
Since then, however, I have gradually become more and more uncomfortable with the concept. First of all, it feels like I’m saying “I’m special because…” or “I have rights over you because…” when in reality we ALL have our own shit to deal with – big, small, and those occasional gargantuan calamities that loom out of nowhere.
We ALL have those. Every single one of us! And to get my set of Spoons out and start waving them at you because you DON’T have kiddos etc just seems unbearably ego-centric and callous.
Where’s the compassion in that? Where’s the humanity?
Now, sure, on my worst days, the most I may be able to achieve is to get dressed – and that would be considered a big achievement! And even if I’m dressed, that doesn’t mean the kids are. They’re probably in pyjamas at 3pm, still watching endless episodes of Bake Off or Justin’s House. On those days, I’d probably be immensely grateful for Spoon Theory to explain-away my ineptitude at life.
But here’s the thing: I know PLENTY of people who don’t fit the Spoonie category, yet struggle just as much and have very similar days to this!
Are we saying they are just “less than” kind of people?
I think not.
Fundamentally, the reason I have fallen out of love with Spoon Theory is that its ethos is grounded in LACK: the idea that you will NEVER have enough energy, time etc. To wit, you are doomed forever and ever more to sit huddled on your sofa counting and lamenting over your meagre set of spoons.
Is that REALLY how you want to see yourself? A kind of energy-Scrooge?
It’s definitely not what my game looks like. As much as I could berate my current situation and feel slighted by the hand I was given, I would much rather choose to set my sights high and play for all I’m worth, whilst still honouring my natural rhythms and needs.
I don’t need to compare myself to Beyoncé OR Batman. Nor do I feel remotely guilty for having days when I hardly manage the basics, because I know I also have days where I am SOARING and creating utter MAGIC in my and my family’s life. Spoons? Who needs ‘em! I can MAKE spoons if I want to – as many as I damn well need or want!
And you can too.Why limit yourself and focus on scarcity when you could be putting that energy into creating MORE? Click To Tweet
Because negativity – lack – scarcity-thinking – complaining – self-righteousness and fear are all DRAINING. They suck up all that precious energy you’re trying so hard to keep hold of! And in doing so, they KEEP YOU STUCK.
Now I’m not perfect. I’m human; I have my fair share of negative moments, and maybe even days. But I can tell you that after a great deal of trial and error I am now pretty hot at turning around a negative situation or thought before I start spiralling down into the rabbit hole. Why? Because I KNOW what it costs me to do that! And because I KNOW how GREAT I can make myself feel, if I just stop that downwards momentum.
In short, I have learned to GENERATE my own energy.
Yes! My very own, never-ending set of spoons!
Imagine that… And you know what? The biggest piece of the puzzle is the decision to CHOOSE this for yourself. Seriously.
I can teach you all the tools and techniques you need – which are nothing short of magical – BUT, fundamentally, you have to be committed to change. You HAVE to choose expansion over contraction.
You have to let go of Spoon Theory.
Because you can make your OWN now! And more to the point, you can make them to your own specification. Your spoons don’t need to look or feel like anyone else’s!
Honour yourself. Learn to BE with your own rhythms. Focus on the GREAT and the EXPANSIVE POSSIBILITY in your life. And learn to create your own, magnificent supply of energy, so you’ll never fall short again.
If you love the sound of boundless energy and being at home with your own rhythms, then I would love to help you! Book in for a quickie Energy Breakthrough Session with me now! http://tinyurl.com/EnergyBreakthroughSession (It’s like a deep and blissful yogic bath smile emoticon ). Here’s what others have said about it:
“Zoë has a gift for seeing the bigger picture of your energy and guides you to connecting with your higher vision and higher self. If I could keep her in my pocket I would!” – Isabelle Rizo, Chicago.
“I’m onto you Zoë! You first get me relaxed and in the zone, THEN you help me to mind-zap my deepest fears in a way that transforms them. I like it! It’s easy and it’s WORKING! Thank you so much!!!!” – Eva Rawposa, Martha’s Vineyard.
It’s time to take back control and see what you can really do! Let’s do this: http://tinyurl.com/EnergyBreakthroughSession