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19 Jun What’s Your Soft Spot?

(I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!)

One of the things I’ve learned on my journey – which was a MASSIVE revelation for me actually – is that we ALL have our soft spot. That part of you, whatever it is, that you frequently apologise or make excuses for, that you feel you need to cover up and maybe even deny completely. That THING which conveniently (or maybe not so!) holds you back, provides a CRUTCH for you and a reason not to follow your dreams with all-out gusto.

I used to think I was the only one who had ‘issues’ and deep hurts. I really honestly believed that NOBODY could have insecurities like mine! And the first time someone touched on those insecurities in a loving and healing way, I broke down. I felt ashamed. I really couldn’t believe that anybody would understand, let alone CARE – and I certainly didn’t think that what I was going through would resonate with anyone else.

HOW WRONG I WAS!

When I started to open up, I found that everyone around me had similar stories – all different in their own way, but essentially coming back to that wounded inner child. Having this knowledge helped me to open up further, to begin to share my stories, to help my fellow warriors to heal their own wounds.

That’s why I do what I do. That’s my WHY! And because of my own convoluted path where I spent much of it as a LONER and determined to be an independent spirit and continually FAILING, I now believe 100% in the power and EMPOWERMENT of like-minded community. These are the tribe that will support, nurture, nourish and cheer you on. They will pick you up when you fall AND give you a gentle and loving SHOVE when you need it! You can still do things your way, on your own terms. But this SHARING of yourself allows you to crack open parts of you which you may never even have known needed healed – and so it accelerates your personal growth.

And all the while you’re ALSO giving back, helping similar warriors on their unique path. Together, you have become a force to be reckoned with!

This is what I’ve found in my own mastermind groups this year, and I feel very lucky. HOWEVER, there is ONE HUGE THING which has held me back.

My own soft spot. That thing which I HAVE shared and CONTINUE to share and yet, I don’t find many (if any!) others in a similar situation. So I feel alone with this burden, and as a result, I try to ignore it, overlook it, make excuses…

Despite ALL THE MANY things I do to help myself, and despite ALL MY IMMENSE HEALING in other areas, I still continue to suffer from severe skin issues. Not only does this affect how I feel in public, but it also prevents me from sharing myself fully online, and that frustrates and irritates me.

And knowing my own path doesn’t help much either. In the first few weeks and months of Topical Steroid Withdrawal, I really thought I’d be healed within the year. When a year passed and I was definitely a LOT better, I thought it would be 18 months. When 18 months passed, and I felt about 95% healed, I thought I’d give it 2 years.

And then I experienced some relapses. I’m now at 2 1/2 years off topical steroids (and ALL medication) and apart from ongoing skin issues, I’ve NEVER FELT HEALTHIER. In my whole 35 years, never healthier nor happier. And that’s the honest truth.

So you can see why my skin is frustrating the hell out of me. (And by the way, I’m not looking for advice, thanks). I KNOW what my healing journey is and has to be and I’m following it as closely as I can, within my current means. It also comes as a priority to me now because I know that if I feel better, everyone else around me benefits – my family, my friends, my clients… I can show up for them as my BEST SELF if I prioritise my self care routine.

But I want to make this public announcement: I STILL STRUGGLE. Every – single -day. Some days and weeks I feel almost ‘normal’ – whatever that is! But in all honesty, most days I can’t even bear to look in the mirror. I don’t recognise that person. SHE IS NOT THE EMBODIMENT OF ME.

And I tell you this NOT for sympathy or congratulations for my continued efforts but so that YOU – EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU beautiful people – know that STRUGGLE IS NORMAL.

Often we have this crazy idea that SUCCESS only comes to those who already have it all, and that once you’ve “got there” there’s no more work to do!

BULLSHIT! There is always, always, ALWAYS more work to do! And you know what? It is usually the same crap OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Perhaps getting lesser each time, for sure, but still the same old story – that soft spot that you’ve been nurturing for so long already, maybe even since a child.

Now I know that I WILL heal fully. I also accept that this is a huge part of my own journey. If it hadn’t been for Topical Steroid Withdrawal, I’d never be here right now. I’d still be playing with my hobbies and hiding from everyone, and wondering WHY I never got anywhere in life. So it has OUTED me, and although I find that UNBEARABLY hard at times to accept – because WHO WANTS TO BE THE FREAK in the room? – I know that this HAS TO BE.

This is what I was put here for. And if I am to truly HELP women to reach their own higher vibrational selves, then I need to keep sharing, keep being open, keep showing up in all my vulnerability. It’s definitely NOT the path I would have chosen, but at the same time it has given me such a HUGE GIFT to share and that makes me feel INCREDIBLE – magical beyond belief!

So, I beg of you ladies, start sharing. Begin to open up around your soft spot – because others need to hear and because YOU will expand your capacity for growth exponentially.

YES it’s scary! YES! It’s bloody HARD and even seems totally IMPOSSIBLE sometimes. But then just ask yourself, if not YOU, then who? And if now NOW, then when?

Ok, I’ve shown you mine. Time to show me yours! Tell me here or in a PM what YOUR soft spot is AND how you plan to move forwards, from this day forth.

There’s no better time to begin 😊

 


If you are READY to create a bigger life, up-levelling to your HIGHER SELF and inspiring others to do the same, then I would LOVE you to join my FREE Facebook group, The Secret Sorority of Life Alchemists  – where creative, soul-driven women commune, bare their innermost selves and support each other to create BIG CHANGE in a quiet, empowered way.