17 Jul What You Focus on Expands
What is it that’s REALLY holding you back?
This might be the most important thing I’ve said to date. (And yes, I am going to rant; deal with it or look away now! ALSO: long post alert!!)
In all honesty, this is something I’m only JUST beginning to truly see for myself, on my own journey. I didn’t want to look at this bare truth because it felt TOO HARSH and raw (not to mention totally UNFAIR!).
Because for so long I was genuinely CONCERNED with how I presented to the world. So concerned that I wouldn’t let myself show up, wouldn’t be myself, would NOT allow my very personal story to DEFINE me!
God forbid I would actually BE that person with all the issues! I mean, WHY would I want to be THAT messed-up person when I could pretend, aspire to and hope against hope of being the GLOSSY, PERFECT, IDEALISED version of me?
It’s what the media feeds us of course. Cover yourself in make-up. Don’t wear a bikini if you’re fat. Wear a hat or hair piece if your hair is a mess. Don’t even go out in public if you have an unsightly rash. Suppress your REAL BITS at all costs, through creams, potions, pills, fancy clothes, expensive treatments, whatever. Just FOR GOODNESS SAKE DON’T SHOW US YOUR REAL SHIT!
The world doesn’t want to see that; it’s UNSIGHTLY.
And yet oh my god how FUCKED UP is this? I won’t apologise for swearing because this ABSOLUTELY REQUIRES you to stop being polite about this matter and WAKE UP.
Suppressing your TRUTH, pushing down your REALITY, constantly CARRYING AROUND SHAME about yourself in any way should NOT BE THE DEFINITION OF NORMAL!
Yes, we can all watch the new generation of advertising where they show apparent appreciation for women’s bodies “whatever size or shape” but THIS ISN’T THE HALF OF IT SISTER!
Plus, you know, the irony is they are still trying to sell you a PRODUCT that will help you feel more feminine and glamorous!
And don’t get me wrong either, this is NOT just about appearance. But it’s a good place to start because it’s so blinking OBVIOUS and it’s something we ALL conform to every day in some way.
We all want to be svelte and pretty and hot. For sure! Some of us may want to also be kind of quirky or outrageous, or goofy. That’s cool!
But I know that for each and every one of you, you feel there’s something inherently WRONG with you, with your appearance and/or your personality. And you actually HATE that part of yourself. You try to COVER IT UP at all costs. You might even spend thousands on doing so. You give pretty much ALL YOUR ATTENTION to making sure nobody notices it.
And at the same time? Here’s the TRUE IRONY! That thing that you DON’T want to define you? That you try to AVOID come hell or high water?
You are LETTING IT DEFINE YOU!
For me, I realised recently that I am allowing MY HEALTH (or perceived lack of) to somehow determine who I am inside, what value I have to offer the world, and also what I focus on 99% of my time.
But here’s the thing ladies: what you focus on EXPANDS! Ignore a mouldy cup of coffee long enough, cover it up and hide it in the corner, spray some room scent to mask the smell, distract yourself by hanging some nice pictures or burning candles. Yeah, you still have a growing bacteria garden in your room.
So all that time, energy and money you are pouring into covering up your “flaws” is actually GROWING that issue, making it HUGE for yourself and everyone around you.,
Case in point: if you focus on LACK OF MONEY, you attract MORE LACK!
For me, my LACK OF HEALTH is my detractor and it is HOLDING ME BACK. Everyday I am concerned with my perceived health issues in some way, and so that is now all I see; it’s who I identify with. And yet, it’s also NOT WHO I IDENTIFY WITH AT ALL!
BUT, who on earth would want to step up and say:
“Hey look! I am OWNING my health problems. Yes, they are my constant companion but they DO NOT DEFINE ME; I am NOT my chronic fatigue/skin complaint/irritable bowel/regular migraines/depression/scoliosis etc. I am the SOUL INSIDE and I am TAKING CONTROL of my health to allow me to fully BE that pure soul. I will NO LONGER give away my power to doctors who only want to SUPPRESS my symptoms – I am here to FULLY HEAL, inside and out, and to LIVE THE FULLEST POSSIBLE EXPRESSION of my life, HOWEVER long that takes!”
Who could really own that? When it flies against EVERYTHING that our society proposes for a “normal”, toe-the-line, Truman-Show style life?
It’s TOO BLOODY SCARY to own that stuff. And yet also SO NECESSARY.
The more I step into this reality – MY REALITY – the more I see just how CRAZY AND RIDICULOUS our way of looking at our lives really is. We have come to value GLOSSINESS over REALITY.
And what’s SO RIDICULOUS about this? Is that reality can be pretty fucking incredible!! We equate it with dreariness and lack, when in fact it can be exactly the opposite if we just EMBRACE IT! Conversely, glossiness will ALWAYS end up feeling empty. Whenever you choose the SURFACE LEVEL approach/solution? It’s fleeting; it never lasts, and it’s usually the cheap way.
So SURE, if you don’t value yourself? Take the cheap, glossy way. Go for it. Go ALL OUT and enjoy that vacuity. Enjoy having to cover up and suppress the crap that keeps coming up for you.
Because the TRUTH is too scary, too MUCH to really own and deal with. All those SYMPTOMS, all those NIGGLES, all those FREAKISH THINGS that keep coming up for and happening to you?
TOO REAL, TOO RAW, TOO UNSIGHTLY to deal with.
Better just to cover it up. Use a cream, or some pills, or get your hair done.
Oh yes, I get it. You think I don’t because I’m ranting, but I’m ranting because I LET MYSELF BE DUPED into believing and conforming to this “norm”, right up until NOW.
I let myself FEEL ASHAMED. Guilty. Apologetic even, just for not being “perfect” and glossy.
Do you really think this is ok? That we are each and every one of us going around feeling BROKEN, UGLY, DIRTY in some way?
Do you really think it’s ok that we allow society’s “rules” to feel as if we SHOULD suppress our ACTUAL TRUTH, our core beings, our BEAUTIFUL SOUL SELVES?
If you CHOSE today, to focus on something that would ultimately fill you with light and joy, rather than FEAR, LACK and INADEQUACY, what would it be?
Give yourself time to sit with your core self, free from distractions (oh heck yeah, even THAT can be scary!) and just listen. What is she trying to tell you? What is it she desperately wants you to KNOW and to begin to EXPRESS?
What have you been HIDING under (and yet focusing on!!) for FAR TOO LONG?
What will be your NEW, CORE TRUTH? Your new way of BEING in this world?
Tell me now, share your vision, and step into it
If you’ve read this far and are LIT UP by the possibilities unfolding RIGHT THIS MOMENT then I would love to get on a short Shake-Up Session call with you. Let’s get to the root of your fears and begin to unravel them – you will come away with a couple of easy action points and new insight on your ultimate path. I am offering just TEN of these over the next 2 weeks, so jump on in now! Comment below to get started