what story are you telling yourself

16 Sep What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

In my conversations recently, I’ve noticed a lot of resistance coming up for people. I notice it clearly and instantly because I’m a master myself at creating resistance in my own life. The thing is, this kind of resistance is super sneaky – it’s the sort that gives DAMN GOOD REASONS.

These kind of reasons might be:

  • “I have 4 demanding kids to look after.”
  • “I have a chronic illness which takes ALL of my energy just to manage and get through the day.”
  • “My family is totally unsupportive”
  • “I am struggling even to pay the rent, never mind putting money towards luxuries like self-development”
    … And so on.

If these resonate with you, I hear you so clearly. I still tell myself these stories, in all honesty. Some days I give in to them completely, allowing them to take centre stage. But I want to tell you this one, MASSIVELY important fact:

You CHOOSE your own story.

And yes, I KNOW your life is full of challenges. Mine is too! And so is Beyonce’s and the Queen’s and Richard Branson’s – oh yes, you betcha! It’s SO EASY for us to say “All those people live a charmed life and have lots of support and I don’t; my life is REAL and HARD!

But you know something, lovely? This is a reality check for each and every one of us – and something I remind myself of daily:

Those successful people did not start out successful!

They had a TONNE of their own challenges and failures to work through – and they continue to do so.

Here are just a few FACTS about a couple of well-known “successful” women, who overcame adversity, stopped making their “story” an excuse and went ALL OUT to go after what they felt they deserved in life:

  • You might know that J.K Rowling was on benefits, had left an abusive relationship and was a single mum when she started writing Harry Potter. You might even know that she was rejected by 12 publishers before Bloomsbury finally agreed to give her a chance. But that wasn’t the golden ticket most think it to be – her advance for HP1 was a measly £1500 and an initial print run of just 1000 copies, with the advice “Get a day job; writing children’s books won’t make you much money”. The HP enterprise is now worth an estimated $15 Billion!
  • Louise Hay, founder of the Hay House empire, grew up amidst severe poverty, domestic violence and suffered years of sexual abuse. She ran away from home at 16, gave birth to a baby girl who she gifted to a loving family, and spent most of the following 30 years desperately seeking a sense of worthiness and love – but only finding abusive, neglectful relationships. Then, just as she felt she was beginning to turn her life around through a newly-discovered spiritual path, she was diagnosed with vaginal cancer – highly significant to Louise because of her years of sexual abuse. She realised at this point that she could give in to the diagnosis she was given – “incurable cancer” – or she could take control and create a new story for herself. She is now 88, an internationally-renowned author, motivational speaker and figurehead of the Hay Foundation and Hay House. She has also just begun a new relationship!

There are many, MANY other hugely successful women who have overcome all manner of obstacles in their lives – often several at the same time! I urge you to go and be curious – instead of automatically thinking “it’s ok for her…” or “well she grew into money” or “I could never, ever be like that”, be curious about those stories you’re telling yourself. What do they ultimately say about you? And who you can be? Are you in fact LIMITING yourself through those stories?

Is that what your own heroine(s) would do?

Of course, you might say that those women are and always have been driven – they’ve always had that innate instinct to strive for what they believe in.

I actually think we ALL have this innate urge. The difference for most of us is that we allow societal conditioning to cover it up, and it’s only when something hugely significant happens in our lives – a tragedy, an illness, a loss etc – that our lives are brought into sharp relief and we see clearly what is truly important – and what is not.

Often, however, that miraculous shift in viewpoint needs to be adjusted and realigned over and over and over again. And so it HAS to become your BIG WHY, or you will simply give up.

Recently I’ve made a shift in my own mindset with regards to my illness and how I LOOK, even though I’m much, MUCH more healthy than I’ve ever been. It’s not been easy in any sense, and actually – in all transparency – I’m still struggling with it. You see, my BIG WHY is to help empower women to become their highest, most fulfilled and successful selves – to help them ditch the excuses which hold them back; to recognise that LOVE is so much bigger than FEAR; and to overcome any and all health issues in a completely holistic and fundamentally empowering way. The irony is, this is a NEVER-ENDING battle, and as women we have a great deal to battle! For my own part, I am still working away at the knots of expectation around HOW HEALTHY LOOKS.

I believe our biggest ailment in today’s world is NOT chronic illness, or financial corruption etc, but LACK OF AGENCY: we keep giving our power, identity and sense of the bigger picture AWAY.

We simply can’t (or refuse to) keep it to ourselves!

It’s time we took it back ladies! Only THEN will we feel truly at home in our own BODIES, our own FAMILIES, our own WORK and ART and CREATIVITY, and our RELATIONSHIPS. This is my manifesto.

Let us return to source.

To our purest selves.

Where there exists above all else a sense of ABUNDANCE.

Not lack, not fear, not judgement.

When we live in that charmed space, we BECOME “charmed people”! We BEGIN LIVING that charmed life!

Simply, and candidly, BECAUSE we tore down the walls. We shed the ropes of EXPECTATION and NORMALITY.

We returned to SOURCE, which knows us intimately, and knows instinctively how to move us forwards.

We allowed ourselves to GROW, to progress, to FAIL.

And we realised that failure is not the end! As much as it might hurt the EGO, it can’t hurt our fundamental truth. Because that is constant, and whole.

We just need to peel back the layers, untie the knots, release all of the nasty bugs… And take back control.

Of this body, this mind, this soul.

… What story would you write THEN?

If YOU would love help navigating this exciting new path for yourself then I’d love to hear from you! I’m opening up 5 new spots in my 1-1 mentorship package… If you’re ready to move on up in your life, stop letting chronic illness hold you back, and start ALLOWING in the magic, then I’d love to chat with you. For a no-obligation Shake-up session, book in with me here and let’s start uncovering that powerful light of yours