A lesson in boundaries

09 Apr Too Close to the Action (a vital lesson on boundaries)

Boundaries are not rigid. You are not armouring yourself against the world, or standing fast in… Click To Tweet

You’re too close to the action

I know you want to help, desperately. I know how hard you feel this situation, these thoughts, these injustices, and every fibre of you wants to take your genius and transform that energy.

Because you, if all people, can.

But you’re too close.

The action – those circumstances, this situation, that person, those FEELINGS – they are all too close.

Right up in your sphere. Don’t you feel it?

You have the gifts, skills and INTENTION required to truly shift this mammoth energetic force and YET you can’t when you’re this close.

You have to step away.

Step AWAY from the bomb.

And clear your space first.

I know it’s hard. I know you just want to dive right in and help, and perhaps you can’t even see that you’re in too deep, and even now you’re shaking your head and thinking that you’d rather feel all of this, really BE part of it, than stand back like some uncaring observer.

Because to feel deeply is one of your superpowers, and it makes you feel alive – truly, deliciously and often painfully, alive.

But here’s the paradox: because you feel so deeply, you don’t NEED to stand so close! In fact, it’s hurting you. It’s draining all your beautiful, healing energies from you. And it’s colouring your natural ability to react in the way that’s most healing for us all.

Because you feel so deeply, you don't NEED to stand so close! In fact, it's hurting you... Click To Tweet

You’re standing too close.

Step back a little and see what happens. Take a deep breath. Feel your own energetic boundaries relax and sigh in relief. Doesn’t that feel better?

From this standpoint you are in your own power, untarnished by the push and pull of all the other energies around you. You can CHOOSE to feel strong here, to strengthen your own energies, and bring your awareness right back to core.

Why is that so important? Because your gifts demand it. Just like the frantic mother who MUST put on her own oxygen mask first before she helps her baby, so must YOU take care of your own energetic boundaries FIRST.

Put yourself first. Step back. Tune into yourself and consciously strengthen each end every one of your own boundaries, so you can stay firmly rooted in your own power WHATEVER tries to pull you off-course.

💥A family member expresses their concern that you’ve not yet got a ‘proper job’…. it bounces right off you.

💥A client demands a refund because she couldn’t make time for your offering… you know exactly what to do and feel unflustered about it.

💥A peer claims what you are doing is ‘dangerous’ and unprofessional…. you check in with your own integrity, ask yourself the pertinent questions required, and act accordingly – without drama.

💥A friend asks a favour that you’re not comfortable with, even though you recognise how much it would help them…. you breathe right into each one of your boundaries, checking them for flexibility on this issue, and you find a happy mutual compromise.

Step back a little and see what happens. Take a deep breath. Feel your own energetic boundaries… Click To Tweet

Boundaries are not rigid. You are not armouring yourself against the world, or standing fast in your own ego: No. Your energetic boundaries actually strengthen your ability to be more fully compassionate, supportive and loving. Just like the oxygen mask, they support YOU in order for you to be strong enough to support others.

All you need is a practice of awareness and intentional strengthening: from this place, you are UNSTOPPABLE as a loving friend, partner, parent, colleague, and member of your community. With your incredible gifts, you can heal so much more when you step away from the action.

Want to find out how to act from a place of strong integrity, compassion AND have healthy boundaries? Today is the last day to get the early bird price on my SUPERCHARGE YOUR EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES workshop! Check out the full details here – your ticket includes a replay so even if you can’t make it, or you want to repeat the exercises again, it’s sorted!

As Brené Brown would say, “Living BIG [in your Boundaries, Integrity, and Generosity] is saying: ‘Yes, I’m going to be generous in my assumptions and intentions while standing solidly in my integrity and being very clear about what’s acceptable and wears not acceptable.'”

Sign up for my online Boundaries workshop here.

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Zoë 🙏