selfish to honour creative needs

27 Sep SELFISH or SANE? Why you MUST honour your creative needs FIRST!

I’m feeling a little flat today – this week in fact. The truth is, I had expectations for myself this month, and they’ve not been met. I haven’t even approached them, because life has got in the way. And more specifically, important parts of my life have got in the way, not just the daily ‘grind’.

And I feel frustrated as hell. It’s not like I can just throw all responsibilities to the wind – I wish! And I’ve been doing my utmost to JUGGLE and meet everyone’s needs… But it’s not working. And this leaves me wanting to run far and run fast, leaving chaos in my wake.

This is what happens when you don’t honour your own needs, first and foremost.

(Remember: you put your OWN oxygen mask on first.)

I’ve been trying to “fit in” to our new routine of being out the house all day long for school run/work run/home-edding & digital nomadding – we all have! And I feel like I’m trying to squash myself into a luggage locker. I know I can do it because I’m so flexible, but I also know it’s going to be damn uncomfortable!

So I’m rebelling. I’m trying to do things half-assed (one butt cheek and one shoulder inside the locker and the rest dangling out!) and failing at everything consequentially. This is how NOT to inspire and lead, even in your own life!

This is how you fuck things up for yourself on a daily basis, you don’t reach your goals, and you ended up frustrated and miserable.

I am literally DREAMING every minute of a writer’s hideaway in a nice little French town in the Alps or Languedoc. On my own.

I haven’t written anything cohesive or complete for over a week now. If you are a creator, you’ll have an idea of how that feels. The urge to birth ideas and mold them into projects, bit by bit, day by day, is like the urge to eat for most people – it needs to happen often, within a period of time and space allowing for it, and which leaves you feeling satisfied or fulfilled in a tangible way.

This is probably why I’ve been eating a lot more chocolate this week!

I have learned over the last few years that I am a better mum, wife, friend, housekeeper, yoga teacher and whatever else I can be to others, if I first fulfil my basic needs. And one of the BIGGEST things I learned about myself, was that creativity (writing in particular) is, for me, a very basic need. I am 35 and I ONLY just realised and accepted this. Before now, creativity was a “luxury”, an “indulgence”, a nice yet unnecessary “extra”, like freshly ground black pepper sprinkled over a good square meal. This was my upbringing; this is our culture.

It took me THIS LONG to realise, to ACCEPT, that my creative spirit IS THE FOUNDATION OF the square meal. Without it, nothing else works! Perhaps you can relate? Maybe you are still at the point where you feel that your creativity is just a nice little extra? And that to indulge it is frivolous and selfish? If so, I hear you! And if I could tell you ONE THING it is this:

Your creativity is both your making and your liberation.

Wherever you feel STUCK, FRUSTRATED, DEPRESSED, ANXIOUS, FED UP, DESPAIRING OF OTHERS and generally ill at ease with the world, it is because you are not honouring your own inner self, that creative spirit within.

My own frustration has been a clear reminder of that! And so ask yourself:

  • What do I need?
  • What needs to emerge?
  • What would feel satisfying and fulfilling?
  • How can I end my day feeling accomplished, even in some small way?
  • What will ultimately bring me back to centre again, and allow me to dance back into my life, fully present and engaged with those around me?

And go do that, NOW. Never mind what else is PRESSING: fit your own oxygen mask first!

Then you can easily play out your other roles from a full well.

Personally, I have just sat in a car park in town to write this, with my boy sulking in the back of the car. You do what you have to do! And then you go back to your day – to the park, to pick up his sister, to do some shopping, and so on.

What can YOU do now, to honour your creative needs?

What needs to change, in your mindset, or physical circumstances?

How can you create regular time and space (and energy!) to meet those needs?

And how will DOING all of the above make you FEEL on a regular basis?

If you are a creator, go create. Do whatever it takes. Stop making excuses and just start! Even if it’s not perfect, even if it’s just a snippet of something, or a sketch or a few notes. Just begin. Start the habit and make the intention to continue, every damn day.

Begin now.

There’s no better time

If you are looking for support, direction and step-by-step tools and techniques to get your creative life on track, then book in for your FREE, no-strings chat with me now. I am passionate about helping women to unleash their soul potential and I have a solid, tried and tested model to help you achieve your greatest desires. Let’s get together and get things moving for you!