are you the only one struggling

05 Nov Are You The Only One Struggling?

3 things to do when you’re at your lowest ebb and everyone around you is rocking life!
I know for a lot of empaths, HSPs and introverts that the latest full moon (in all its Supermoon glory) has been wreaking havoc on sensitive, intuitive systems. I include myself! In the last week alone I’ve cried 4 times which is totally unheard of! I very rarely cry, but it has felt SO cleansing.

Now I’m not going to get all astrological on you – NOT my area of expertise, BUT it is a fact that planetary activities this year have had most people in a state of flux. There has been a lot of intensity in terms of moving through health issues, financial troubles, relationship struggles etc.

And in all of this, I see a recurring theme.

One that I also see in myself, and my kids of course!

One that I KNOW you also relate to.

Because what unites us, ironically, is our division. Specifically, our SENSE of division, of isolation – that idea that “I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY!”

My 6yo boyo had a strop this morning and shouted those dreaded pre-teenage words at me: “You don’t understand! Nobody understands me!”

Ever feel like that? I know I do!

And yet, at heart I know it’s all rubbish. My separation – my ISOLATION and struggle – is really no different from yours. No worse, no better. Just different! Each and every one of us carries a great big bundle of cares, worries and responsibilities alongside our hopes, dreams and goals.

But those times when you really FEEL like everyone else has their shit together while you’re rapidly falling apart? I get it. You feel alone. The struggle is REAL. And everyone else – you’re SURE – is somehow living a charmed life. They’re so much LUCKIER than you! So much more organised/supported/well-off/resilient etc etc etc.

It’s a funny thing, this separation. Because the antidote is simply to reach out and connect. Instead of competing over who has the biggest bundle of cares on her shoulders, see what it’s like to reach out to a fellow traveller and offer her what you most wish for yourself, not with the expectation of receiving anything in return, but simply because you can.

Because you know the well can be refilled any time you choose! Because in order to feel less alone, you can take that responsibility into your own hands. Because playing the victim game is not really much fun and never gets you where you want to be.

And because giving what you most want for yourself is actually incredibly therapeutic. So, you see, you do receive something from it.

When you are in that place, stuck deep inside the feelings of “IT’S NOT FAIR! EVERYONE ELSE IS ROCKING LIFE WHILE I’M DYING HERE!” Just take yourself out of the box for a moment. Just step outside of your petulance for TWO MINUTES and breathe. While you’re there, do these 3 things to help you move from “ARGHHH!” To “Ahhhhhh…”

1. KNOW that you are NOT alone, even though everything in you says differently!

Take a look around and instead of feeling jealous of those who seem to have it all and be absolutely rocking their life, look instead, with empathy, for the similarities. Read inspirational stories of people who have struggled from X through to Z and FIND THE COMMON FACTOR that you share (instead of falling into the automatic thinking of “it’s ok for them! They had help/money/blah!”). Find comfort in that! And tell yourself over and over and over, “I’m not alone. I’m never alone, if that’s what I choose.”

2. Split your time into 65% self-care, 25% core duties and 10% moving out of your comfort zone.

This means, instead of sitting curled up in a ball on the sofa, refusing all positive social contact, you have a list of core habits which you use to nurture yourself back to a positive, receptive and abundant state, whilst taking care of the absolute fundamentals so your world doesn’t fall apart (but ONLY the fundamentals, and no martyrdom is allowed!) AND you deliberately push yourself just a LITTLE to ensure you don’t get well and truly stuck inside your comfort zone. This could entail striking up conversation with someone at the school gates, or doing a mini (5-10 minute) workout, or emailing a prospective client. The important thing here is NURTURE FIRST, obligatory tasks second, and pushing gently through the resistance barrier third, in order of priority.

3. Get out of your body/mind ego-driven habits.

Shake up your automatic responses. Take the ego & spin it around in the play park so that it can see things from a different… Click To Tweet Take that ego and spin it around in the playpark so it can see things from a different viewpoint! Or discipline yourself to 5 minutes of mindfulness meditation, or alternate nostril breathing (which is POWERFUL for bringing the hemispheres back into balance). Do something FUN which is not usually included in your routine. Allow yourself to feel gratitude, or humility, or both. Know that by apologising first to someone does not mean annihilating a part of yourself. The key here is to show your ego who is THE BOSS! Take back the driver’s seat, wind the window back down and choose YOUR favourite station.

It’s your turn to drive this car. And OH LOOK!

Yep, you’re rocking this life, baby.

You got this.

Namaste,
Zoë
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